The Free Camera
John Farrow's story when he visited Ireland from Canada - 2005
(With a few minor adaptations!) It was that time of year again and folk were busy selecting the perfect gifts for each other. Of course everyone knows that this is not always as successful a process as one might imagine and when Christmas Day arrived, Pat discovered that he had become the proud possessor of not one but two digital cameras. Kindness and good-will overflowed and he magnanimously bestowed the older camera on his father- in law, John Farrow, a young fellow of eighty two years.
The fine specimen was gratefully received and the old gent familiarised himself with the new gadgetry. He soon discovered that the camera only held sixteen photographs in its memory. Having got the camera for nothing he decided to splash out and for eighty dollars he purchased a decent amount of memory. He had a whale of a time clicking at everything in sight and he enjoyed the freedom of selecting the quality photographs and deleting the duds. Unfortunately he found buying the vast quantities of batteries needed to sustain his new found passion an absolute rent, so once again he reckoned he’d make a once off purchase and buy himself a battery charger and rechargeable batteries. He bought the things for another eighty dollars and settled himself into the business of printing the fine collection of photographs. His computer hadn’t the correct programme for adjusting and enhancing the beautiful photographs in the camera so as a matter of form he purchased that too. He attempted to load on the programme but his ancient computer refused to accept his latest purchase. It was a case of not sufficient ram. Ram, he’d give it ram! Into town with him and a short time later he arrived back home with a large number of boxes in the back of his jeep. A new computer emerged and, with the help of friends and relatives, it was installed. The photo programme was duly loaded and it performed well. The camera was connected and, joy of joys, up came the lovely photographs on the screen. John adapted and modified the photographs and, with a degree of satisfaction, he pressed the print button. The printer groaned and growled as it prepared for motion but not a single photograph did it print. The old printer was incompatible with the new computer and there was nothing for it but to purchase a newer model if those elusive photographs were to be printed. With mounting exasperation the elderly gent once again dug deep in his pockets and made the necessary purchase. When the new printer was fully operational, he zapped to the hard drive, located his folder of photographs and pressed that print button. There was a palpable sigh of relief when those photographs eventually began to appear off the new printer and the old gent reflected that the free camera he had received with such pleasure had, in reality, knocked him back the princely sum of two and a half thousand dollars. He lent back in his chair. Such is life, he thought and then as a mischievous glint lit his eye, he duly considered the gift he’d chosen for his son in law the following Christmas. “Yes, next year”, he said, “would be less expensive but equally entertaining”, and he chuckled wryly to himself. |
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